ALERT!! ALERT!!

We are at alert level orange. We have secretly confirmed reports that suspicious behavior is afoot. Here’s a link to the office of Homeland Security.

I guess I’ve been quietly laughing to myself for a while now, but I’ve seen something surprising happen lately. People are complaining how ridiculous the White House’s advice is on security. Duct Tape your house? Buy plastic sheeting to cover the whole thing? How crazy is that, but it comes from Bushie himself. Can we really believe that this stuff will prevent a plan from blowing up into a building or anthrax from spreading? Don’t we still have to go outside, eventually. (Of course, I think there might be a secret plot from the Video on Demand Industry)

But people are scared. I talked to a couple today who were planning to have their honeymoon in London, but now are just going to Canada. Sure its nice, but now it seems like the terrorists have won. We are prisoners, captured in the fear produced by our own government. Great. Well, gotta run out and buy some duct tape and plastic sheeting…